TIPS

~It is easy for even the expecting mother herself to downplay her need to be honored , and if this is a concern, consider a surprise blessingway to ensure that she will not feel that she is ‘putting you out’ by giving her this gift.
~Feel free to copy and paste the sample invitation provided below to invite guests to the blessingway and fully explain what they are participating in.  Most people want ritual and ceremony in their life, but they may be nervous about a new experience.  Providing them with more information about what will happen may alleviate fears of discomfort.    The MOST important factor in the invitation process is keeping in mind that every person present needs to be supporting and uplifting the expectant mother.  This is not a baby shower, it is not about gifts or needs from a registry list, it is a ceremony 100% dedicated to the MOTHER.  Keep this in mind as you send invitations.
~When each woman gives the gift of her word to support the mother through labor, there is an opportunity to create a focal point for the labor!  Just pass around a large piece of watercolor paper or cardstock to each guest and let them write their word on it for the mother to put somewhere she can see during labor.
 

~Making a Blessing Bead Bracelet or necklace is a simple process.  Gather the following supplies from your local craft store or online  (The Sage Mama recommends www.artbeads.com ) to ensure success:
 Jewelry clasp
Jewelry quality beading wire (try the brand names Beadalon or Soft Flex, they work wonderfully). 
Be sure to also buy a few pretty beads to put into a small bowl for anyone who forgets to bring theirs to the blessingway, so no one will be left out and you will also be able to make the bracelet longer if needed.
Cut a 14-24” piece of jewelry wire (shorter if there are fewer guests) and attach one end of the jewelry clasp to the wire, leaving a two inch tail of wire after the knot – this will get slipped inside the first few beads given to be sure the bracelet is secure.
When each woman gives the mother her beads it is nice if she can string them as she receives them; sometimes this proves frustrating , in which case encourage her to collect them all in a small dish and you can string them for her at the close of the ritual. 
When all the beads are strung, set the bracelet aside and finish the ceremony, the bracelet can be finished while everyone is enjoying a meal or snacks together afterwards.
To finish, simply check to be sure she has either enough beads on the string to encircle her wrist. (If not, have her choose a few from your bowl herself) or if it’s too long you can consider either a double-length bracelet to wrap around her wrist twice or a necklace.  Lucky her to have so much support!  Then tie the other side of the jewelry clasp on using 2 or 3 knots, cut the wire about two inches from the knot and thread the wire back through the beads to keep it secure.
If you have never strung beads before, take a look at the online instructions for simple bracelets and necklaces on www.artbeads.com for additional  support.
~Creating a Blessingway Quilt is more time consuming, but a truly worthwhile endeavor.  Each woman will make one square, and then the quilt will need to be assembled by either one person or a group gathered for a craft night.  You could have the quilt completed before the blessingway, with each woman pointing out her square on the finished item, or each could present her square to the mother at the blessingway.
There are many many ways to make a quilt square and literally ANYONE can do it.  A square could be anything from a simple piece of fabric chosen for it’s color or print,  to an elaborately pieced traditional style, fabric painted, beaded, needle felted, handsewn with charms and ribbons…. You name it!
Here two simple tutorials on making a basic fabric squares quilt:
http://www.weeno.com/art/0599/58.html
http://www.junetailor.com/Creativity%20Center/CreativityCenter_QuiltMakingBasics.htm
 

It’s really as simple as sewing each of the blocks together into a big rectangle and then layering them up with batting (like flat stuffing) and a backing fabric.  Your local fabric store will have books and people to help you, as long as you have a sewing machine and can sew a straight line you can do this project.
 

~For the Candles: any candles will work of course we’ve used tea lights, votives or my advent spiral candle holder at different blessingways.   One great idea is to purchase one short pillar candle for each guest to light during the ritual part of your blessingway.  After the candles are extinguished ask each guest to take theirs and light it when they hear that labor has begun, focusing on the positive beautiful energy that the mother will need during her labor.   This obviously only works if everyone is going to be ‘in the know’ about labor starting.  A phone tree list is a simple way to let the whole circle of women know that their friend needs their energy now.
 

~A Blessingway Yarn Web is created simply this way: Begin passing a ball of soft red, cream or pink yarn around from person to person, each woman will wrap the yarn a few times around their wrist and then pass it to the next. 
As a group, singing a song of comfort and support during this passing is highly recommended, or you could turn on a quiet cd of relaxation or chanting music if you are very uncomfortable singing.  There are many sources of beautiful, simple songs for support in the book Seven Times Round the Sun and on the internet.  If you have one guest who IS comfortable singing, this is an ideal time to delegate a responsibility by asking her to learn a song and then just take the lead and start singing.  Choose something short and repeat it over and over while passing the yarn.
 Everyone will then break the yarn (preferred over cutting to represent the work of labor) and tie the section they have around their wrist.  Wear this until you hear news of the new little baby birth.  Wool yarn is highly recommended because it is easy to break by hand (acrylic is NOT), if someone is allergic they can carry their bracelet in their pocket or purse until the birth.
 

There are many, many other rituals that could be beautiful additions to the above Blessingway recipe, taking into account the intimacy and comfort levels of both the honored mother and the guests.  Here are some additional ideas: ritual footwashing and or hairbrushing, creating a belly cast of the pregnant mother or a group reiki session focused completely on the mother, even giving the mother-to-be a pedicure!
 

All women deserve to be honored for their lives, their love and their strength, by hosting a blessingway you will be adding enormous power to the entire circle of women involved.
Feel free to post questions in the comments section and I will answer them as I can!
 

~jolene
 

SAMPLE INVITATION LETTER

Dear Friends,
As you all know, Jane is expecting the arrival of her child in August.  I would like to gather together to honor Jane, offering  her our love and support as she makes the transitions through the last few weeks of pregnancy and then through labor and into the new phase of her motherhood.
There is a traditional gathering you may have heard about before, called a blessingway, rooted in centuries of women supporting women on their journey down life’s path.  Different from a baby shower, this ceremony (which we’ll follow with a social party J ) is meant to fully honor and acknowledge the mother in all her strength.
Date:99/99/0000
Time: 10:00 am
Place:  11 Elm St.  Springfield
Please Bring: a potluck dish to share and a bead for Jane’s blessingway bracelet.
 

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