*Who Am I? Envy Shows Me the Way*
I was talking to a fellow homeschooling mom and found myself feeling a bit deficient. Her children are reading above age level, she enjoys doing lots of crafts and arts with them, and always seems to be playing with her children. When I compare myself to her, I find myself lacking.I found afterwards that she was comparing herself to me and finding herself lacking. She wished she had the interest, skill and knowledge of alternative health that I do and was feeling guilty that she doesn’t.
That made me feel much better but left me wondering, why don’t we value ourselves and our gifts more? And what do we do about comparing ourselves? Some folks don’t have the bad habit of comparing, I do.
I can use it to motivate myself or use it to feel like dirt …
To motivate myself, I start by naming and loving my strengths BEFORE I compare myself to others. I feel much better when I do that, I feel more confident, and that can only lead me to better choices. If I know where I’m doing well, then it’s easier to see where I want to be different.
But what to do about that envy? I have found there there is always a nugget of truth when I feel envious — it’s just a matter of sorting out the truth from the noise. The truth for me is a little voice saying, I’d like to have more of that in my life. If I can get clear about what I really want, then the path opens up. So with my friend who is so proud of her children’s academic progress, the nugget of truth for me is that I’d really like to feel that my children are learning. I don’t have that sense right now — so how can I see all the ways they are learning? Maybe I can observe them more to see what they really do while they play. Maybe I can start a project we both are interested in. Maybe I can list all the ways and things they already know just because they are my kids. (How many children know how to muscle test and do EFT? Mine do!)
So for all those moms who are harsh judgers of themselves, here’s an
assignment: list five things that are part of who you are, that you love about yourself. And let us know. This can be our pat-ourselves-on-the-back spot….
Cheers to all,
Deborah in Maryland
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March 25th, 2007 at 2:30 pm
Ok, I’ll bite!
I am good at:
bringing artistic endeavors to my kids
researching anything that cathces my interest
providing my husband with lots of love
standing up for myself
looking at ‘the big picture’
We recently did this same excersice as part of my monthly women’s circle and it was hard to realize just how much we all wanted to make excuses for our shorcomings rather than step up and say what we feel we are great at. Very eye opening!
~jo
March 25th, 2007 at 3:01 pm
I love your list Jo — it’s wonderful … here’s mine …
I am good at:
being self-aware
learning stuff I’m interested in
attracting great resources — folks ask “how’d you find out about that?”
taking the initiative and getting things started — I have a lot of energy and love having tangible results to achieve!
seeing and knowing things — i.e. intuitive insights — I used to think others were stupid not to see what I saw — i.e. what was missing from a group interaction, what had to be done next, etc. Turns out others aren’t stupid, I just have a knack for seeing stuff from an energetic/process point of view …
March 28th, 2007 at 3:11 am
Alright! Let’s go…
I am good at
Listening and supporting
Feeling/seeing the energy around me
Offering my children the chance to experience what they express interest in
Breastfeeding
Lately, interacting with my Mom
Thanks for making me think!
Good thoughts A
March 30th, 2007 at 9:01 pm
Thanks for the inspiration!
I am good at
Listening with my heart.
Speaking my truth.
Raising money to buy land for conservation.
Multi-tasking (aka juggling homeschooling, working, wifing, cleaning, chauffering…..)
Snuggling with the kids.
Thanks for the chance to give myself a hug!
April 3rd, 2007 at 3:56 pm
A friend passed this on after a conversation about how inept I was feeling. Thank you for giving me a practical exercise for whenever I’m in the slumps again!
I am good at:
sticking to my guns (also called being stubborn, but this is MY list!)
talking things out
appreciating the world around me
self-awareness/introspection
giving my kids room to be themselves
Thanks!
April 8th, 2007 at 2:13 am
We all need more opportunities to remember our strengths! Why is it our faults that always hang out in our conscious minds, when our strengths are so much more useful to us? Thank you for providing this opportunity.
I am good at:
Prioritizing
Bluntness
Taking care of my loved ones
Literary analysis (why I did the English teacher bit)
Making my children and husband laugh
Getting me and the three children out of house for the day, by myself, and making sure we all have fun while we’re out there!